Notes on Adulting: Love Can Wait, I’m Resting First.
I’ve also come to appreciate peace more than ever. I enjoy long silences, listening to jazz (which, by the way, now heals my inner spine), and the calm it brings. It’s cool, soulful, and makes me feel
Friends!
As I write this, it’s currently 11:00 pm, my laptop is sitting on my lap, charger plugged in, and I’m rewatching a class on candles, diffusers, and gypsum. I’m trying not to forget what I’ve learned while also scrolling through comedy videos to keep my mind steady. It’s a weird balance, but that’s where I’m at right now.
I’m on leave, and to be honest, this break has been one of the kindest things I’ve given myself in a while. Waking up without thinking about capitalism, or alarms ringing in my head feels like luxury. Just me, my phones, laptop, and my business, and that’s enough. If resting was a job, I’d be top tier at it by now.
Speaking of the business, Centric Scents turns two next month. I honestly still get emotional thinking about it. This brand started from scratch, from prayer, uncertainty, and guts. And somehow, it’s grown into something real. There have been slow days, wins I didn’t expect, and losses I definitely didn’t plan for, but through it all, God has been faithful.
Today, my sister mentioned one of her coursemates just had a baby. It reminded me of a schoolmate who now has two kids. And truly, I’m not moved. Life is already a lot. Marriage is not even on my priority list right now. I barely talk or think about it. I’ve even unfollowed every relationship content page that tries to sneak it into my algorithm.
That said, love is a beautiful thing and I do want to experience it. But I want it with someone kind. Not rushed, not loud, not performative. Just soft, honest, kind love. If it comes, I’ll welcome it. If it doesn’t, I’ll still live a full life.
My friend called me recently and we spoke about how people around her are treating marriage like a competition. I laughed. I sighed. If it happens, great. If not, I move. Life doesn’t stop either way. And let’s be honest a lot of people are married but not happy. Companionship is sweet, yes, but it’s not everything.
I’ve also come to appreciate peace more than ever. I enjoy long silences, listening to jazz (which, by the way, now heals my inner spine), and the calm it brings. It’s cool, soulful, and makes me feel like I’m reconnecting with a part of myself I didn’t even know was lost.
Recently, I caught up with myself. It was warm. Simple, good conversation that reminded me I’m not alone, even when I feel like I am. And these days, I find myself pouring out my heart to strangers; in Ubers, queues, random places. Maybe because I know I won’t see them again. There’s something freeing about being heard with no strings attached.
The economy is still doing the most, cause tell me why the price of food stuff feels like I’m living above my means. Well, It’s been a while since I shared anything like this, and I just wanted to check in. I’m alive. Still figuring things out. Still growing. Still choosing peace.
See you soon, friends. Let adulting do what it wants. I can’t come and kill myself.
see you soon!
Sending lots of love. 🤎